


American Valley

by liketheroad



Category: Disney RPF
Genre: Unresolved Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-08-27
Updated: 2010-08-27
Packaged: 2018-04-17 14:30:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,006
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4670123
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/liketheroad/pseuds/liketheroad
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Future!fic wherein Joe and Nick are in a new band together, aimlessly wandering across America, playing bars and coffee shops until they meet up with the Henrie brothers to film an indie movie together and complicate each other's lives.</p>
            </blockquote>





	American Valley

David's phone chirped in his pocket and he pulled it out, reading the screen and then chuckling to himself.

Across from him, David's brother kicked him in his shin so he would share the joke. Still smiling, David looked up at Lorenzo, "Want to go see two-thirds of the now defunct Jonas Brothers play folk ballads while gazing lovingly into each others eyes?"

Lorenzo tapped his chin thoughtfully, as though his warranted great consideration, rolling his eyes skyward, until finally asking, "Will you shout BURNIN' UP during the request section?"

David laughed, sliding out of the booth and tossing some bills onto the table, "Don't I always?"

Lorenzo laughed too, grabbed his coat, and followed David out of the diner.

They had a concert to attend. 

\---

Life was weird. David didn't necessarily want to lapse into sweeping generalizations or anything, but he was pretty sure it wasn't just him. Sure, his life, under examination, could appear exceptionally weird, maybe. To the outside observer. But really, David figured his life was just about the same amount of weird as the next ex-Disney star. 

_Wizards_ ran for five seasons - _**five**_ \- and by the time they were done, David was 23 and he and Selena were finally at the place where they both wanted to be friends at the same time and they were actually happy about it. The the thing between him and Sel had always been friendship, David realized somewhere along the line, a little ahead of Selena, maybe, but she got there. And sure, it was still the kind of friendship that brought jealousy and streaks of massive protectiveness with it. But that was fine by him. David and Jake were still pretty tight too - the kid had managed to keep his head well on his shoulders, shrugging off the mantle of fame carelessly when it left him behind - applying to college and now studying botany at Johns Hopkins. David visited him there sometimes. If he and Lorenzo were passing that way.

After _Wizards_ , David was pretty burned out, tired of working the demanding schedule of a serial, tired of the camera's scrutiny. He'd loved the attention when he was younger, a cocky teenager judging bikini contests and riding around in limos, wearing suits for no reason except that more people would look at him. But by his early 20s, he was basically over that, although he still liked the flash of a great suit, still wore his sunglasses at night. He'd wanted something different - but it wasn't school like Jake, or music like Selena. David still loved to act, he was just tired of saying other people's words.

As it turned out, so was Lorenzo. Alongside David, Enzo had been working pretty steadily all the way up through his teens. At 19, he'd been on _Law and Order_ , at least three of the _CSI_ s, _Criminal Minds_ , co-stared in half a dozen Disney pilots and even had a recurring role on _The Office_ for a season. But when David said he wanted out - out of LA - out of the Disney factory - Lorenzo had jumped on the chance to get out with him. They'd always been close like that, partners in crime. Wanting the same thing before they even discussed it with the other one - wanting to do things together. David always preferred to do things with some back-up, and Lorenzo was his favorite wing-man. 

And when David said he wanted to write, Lorenzo got a hungry look in his eyes, like he'd been wanting that almost without knowing how much. They had money, savings accumulated over the years, during which they hadn't purchased anything more extravagant than matching cars. So when they decided they wanted to write, they just sat down and started. They worked well together - loud and occasionally violent - but the results were good. They wrote together, and then filmed together. Moving across country in a van they bought together, equipment and clothes crammed in together. They hired extras and co-stars from the towns they filmed in, making shorts for a year before settling into a little town in Nevada, preparing to make their first feature-length movie. 

It was about isolation, about forgotten spaces and making a new kind of home within them. David envisioned it as a kind of modern film noir/Western hybrid, he wanted it shot in black and white, but he and Lorenzo were still fighting over that part. They hadn't started filming yet, were just setting up, getting the lay of the land, fighting over changes. They weren't stalling, exactly, but they definitely weren't rushing to start, either. That might have had something to do with the fact that at its core, the movie was about two lovers - played by David and Lorenzo. and David knew they were pushing it, pressing hard against the boundaries he'd fought for years to pretend he didn't even know existed, didn't even think about, every minute, every time he looked at his brother, felt him close. But he figured as long as he reminded himself - over and over and over - that it was just a movie, _fiction_ , it wouldn't matter that they were going to have to kiss on screen. Wouldn't matter that they had written the scene where David threw Lorenzo against a door, swearing no one else would ever touch him again, together, sitting side by side on the bench in front of David's typewriter, breathing heavily, hearts racing in their twin chests. 

So there was that, sure, but really - if you left that part out - David's life was weird, yeah, but it was weird like all people's lives were probably weird. It was no weirder, anyway, than what was going on with Nick and Joe Jonas. Once David and Selena realized that, like, it was cool, they were just friends, David took it upon himself to try and hate Nick J a little less. Cause as it turned out, Nick hadn't actually meant to steal Selena away from David and stomp all over his heart with those stupid cowboy boots he liked so much. And once he realized _that_ , it didn't take David that much time to remember why he'd liked Nick so much in the first place, why he'd actually enjoyed those times when Disney threw them all together in a room or a field of color-coded battle. Nick was a pretty solid guy - for being ridiculously famous starting around the age of 15 and having perfect skin approximately since birth. Nick had good taste in cars, and he was the only one who would actually play street hockey with Lorenzo and not complain about the subsequent injuries. David appreciated that in a person. He liked it when people _got_ Enzo, when they saw him for being as awesome as he was. And Joe was chill. David and Joe were buds. They actually hung out a lot, the four of them, occasionally plus Kevin, or plus Demi and Selena, over the last few years of _Wizards_ and _JONAS_ , while Kevin was perpetually extending his engagement and Disney was getting one last - and then another last - album and world tour out of the Jonas Brothers phenomenon. 

They capped off their fifth world tour and their seventh studio album before Kevin finally cried uncle and settled down with his lady, getting married and getting pregnant in rapid succession after the ink was barely dry on the page releasing them from their contracts. David was already done with _Wizards_ , by then, and just starting to figure out what he wanted to do. He'd been surprised when Nick called him - asking him for advice without saying that in so many words. David had just told him to keep doing what he loved, cause he didn't know what else to say. Nick was a force to be reckoned with, and the stage was his home. David couldn't fathom him doing much else. 

As ever, Nicholas Jerry Jonas did not disappoint. Two months after Kevin and Danielle got pregnant, Nick was back on the road, playing rock-folk ballads on what Joe insisted on calling the _Pancake Tour of America_. And of course, because what Nick loved was never quite fully encompassed by the music, not just that, Joe was with him. They called themselves the _New Administration_ (because Nick was still at least mostly a tool), and they both sang, both played guitar, and well, occasionally tambourine on Joe's part. They played coffee shops and bars, the occasional church basement. They weren't selling out arenas, weren't merchandised, weren't selling millions of records. But whenever they played a show in a place David and Lorenzo were filming, he and Enzo always went to see them, and David couldn't remember ever seeing them happier. They were making the music they wanted, making it together. 

Nick and Joe had their chords, and Lorenzo and David had their words, traded back and forth like a secret language, but David knew that for all of them, it wasn't really about what they were doing. It was about doing whatever it took to stay together.

\---

The place was already smoky and full of low chatter when David and Lorenzo showed up. He'd texted Joe back, and so, as always, Joe'd reserved the table right up front for them. And always, the sign, no doubt made by Joe himself read, THE HENRIE BROTHERS with three exclamation points and a heart over the 'I'. David hoped Joe never decided it was time to try and be cool. David didn't really like to get sappy, but Joe's relentlessly lame enthusiasm for pretty much everything kind of made David's world a better place. 

\---

Nick didn't count heads at shows anymore. Didn't scan the crowd, gauging the ages of the people he and Joe were drawing, counting guys, girls, parents, children who were still holding out hope they'd whip Kevin out from backstage and start playing _S.O.S_. He didn't wait with a panic in his chest for the seats to fill up, didn't feel his worth rise and fall with the number of people who came to see him and Joe play. They'd started out playing to dozens, once upon a time, and after selling out arenas for years, Nick had expected it would take more time than it did for him to get used to playing to small crowds again. But he found himself almost grateful for it now, more appreciative of the 40 people who came and chatted quietly while he and Joe played their music than he'd been able to be, in the end, of the screaming fans who barely even listened to their words over the din. 

He'd been afraid, at first, that Joe would leave when the crowds did. That he would miss the excitement too much, that he'd crave the rush of fame and the thrill of thousands of people screaming his name. But Joe could play to any crowd, and Nick should have remembered that. For thousands, Joe was a nearly untouchable rock god, a little goofy, a little saccharine sweet, but Joe had known that was his part as front man for the Jonas Brothers, and he played it well for years. For all they always said Nick was the leader of the band, it was really Joe who kept them up right, Joe's humor and blinding smile masking so much patience, so much hard work. And just like Joe had always found his feet on those shifting stages, he knew his place in the cramped corners of coffee shops, on the small stages of hipster clubs. He bantered more with the crowd, took requests, played random covers shouted from the crowd, still pulling the occasional back-flip, just because he was Joe. He shared joints that got passed up to him, drank his bottle of beer slowly throughout the show, encouraging others to drink more, pull in money for the venue, while Joe himself kept a mostly clear head, kept focused on the music, on Nick. 

It wasn't just the smaller crowds, smaller venues, that made it seem so much more intimate, being up there on stage with only Joe and their guitars. It was about singing the songs they'd written together - and only together. It was about the freedom to sing what they wanted, voices challenging each other, going new places together. It was about the way they could lean into each other, their guitars almost close enough to touch, heads straining in, singing, playing. They were their own little universe, on stage, and there was something special about those songs they had written together the summer after Kevin got married, some magic in them that allowed Nick and Joe to stay sustain that feeling even when they weren't on stage. They traveled on the road without security guards and a small army of staff, stage managers, music directors, wardrobe, publicists. It was just them, and their successes and failures were truly their own. And Nick was finding, as much as it surprised him, and as much as Joe teased him, that he didn't even mind the failures, so much, as long as he knew they were his to own up to, his to figure out how to fix. No one telling him what to do, no one pulling his strings.

\---

Joe sipped a can of coke and squinted at himself in the mirror, while Nick watched him at it. They were due on stage in a few minutes, but there was nothing to it now. No complicated costumes to keep track of, no mike systems and set changes to run over and over in his head. As long as Nick didn't forget his guitar, and Joe, he'd be fine. That was all he needed now. Maybe it was all he'd ever needed.

"I invited Dhenny," Joe said, pushing at his cheek with his finger. Joe was obsessed with trying to determine if he was getting laugh lines, any signs of old age. Nick thought he was freaked out by it, at first, but over the weeks that Joe'd picked up the practice, Nick had realized Joe was getting impatient. Tried of looking so young. Nick hadn't really had that problem since he was 16. 

"I know," Nick replied with dry amusement, because he'd been there when Joe texted David. Because they'd already talked about this three times.

"And the other one," Joe continued, glaring at his own, still flawlessly youthful expression.

Nick smiled at him, a familiar union of affection and sadness. At 25, Joe was exactly the same as he'd been at 19, or 21. He was going through yet another fauxhawk phase, seemingly a two-three year cycle for him at this point. As always, it was the hair Nick loved best. The hair that made him stare the most, the hair his fingers most itched to touch. But he didn't do that anymore. Didn't touch Joe like that. Even though they still clung to each other's sides, giving their time and hearts almost exclusively to each other, they didn't to that anymore. Nick was 22. He wasn't a kid anymore. Not by any stretch. He'd sacrificed a lot in his relentless drive to push through his youth and innocence, to reach an age that carried some semblance of respectability. But no part of growing up had hurt like trying to break himself of his need for Joe. 

"I let the bartender know, they set the front table aside for them. It's cool, Joe." Nick said, forcing himself out of his reverie and turning away from Joe at the same time. He occupied himself by fiddling with his guitar strap, pretending to himself that he wanted to make sure guitar was still perfectly in tune. 

"We should hang out, afterwards," Joe said, finally abandoning his self-scrutiny and ambling over to Nick, looping an arm around his shoulders. "If that's okay."

Joe always got progressively weirder the closer they ever got to seeing David and Lorenzo - asking Nick a million times if it was okay while they both pretended they didn't know the reason why. Pretended Nick didn't know what happened when David and Joe slipped off for hours of their reunions, pretended like they didn't both know why Nick still got upset even as he fought like hell to make it look like he wasn't. Both pretending like there was no reason for Joe to ask for permission when Nick had technically given up his right to that years before.

Nick smiled at Joe a little more, but shrugged him off, not able to meet Joe's intent gaze. Joe looked too good right now - beaten up leather jacket and faded black jeans, his hair a mess, that low level excited he still got before a show making his skin seem to hum. Nick took a step back, and then another. Joe didn't question that kind of behavior. He never did. Not since the last time Joe tried to kiss Nick and Nick pulled away, quietly telling him "no."

Joe kept his distance, but reached out, clapping Nick on the shoulder.

"Come on, little brother. We've got a crowd to rock."

Nick smiled tightly, still looking at the ground instead of his brother. He waited until Joe's back was turned before he followed Joe out onto the smoky stage.

\---

He spotted David and Lorenzo immediately, sitting up front like they were. It also helped that they whistled wolfishly as soon as Joe and Nick walked out into view. Nick waved a little stiffly, and Joe blew them both kisses. David mimed catching his and putting it in his pocket, while Lorenzo made an inexplicable gang sign and Joe laughed. Nick cleared his throat, all it took to regain Joe's attention, and then Joe spread his arms out to the small crowd. 

"Hi everybody, we're the _New Administration_ , and we thank you for deciding to spend your Thursday night with us. This song's called _Challenger_. If you know the words, we'd love it if you gave us a hand."

Nick nodded to himself, counting off in his head, and then they both started to play.

\---

David really did like their new music. He liked that Joe sang more now, and that he didn't suck as much at guitar as he used to, and that Nick's songs had started to become a little heavy-handed with the metaphors the last couple years. That said, he still stood up on his chair, hands above his head, and shouted, "BURNIN' UP!" the second Joe paused to scan the crowd and ask for requests. Requests were usually a game at _New Administration_ shows. Fans who knew the band well knew to come with obscure, tricky requests, a gauntlet Nick was always desperate to pick up, to show off his chops and his ridiculously extensive catalog of musical knowledge. That said, they always indulged David at their shows, waiting for his request, playing it first. 

David stayed up on his chair, dancing, until the song was over, and then Lorenzo helped him down, laughing and shaking his head. Joe raised his drink out to David, and their eyes locked for a minute, and in that moment David knew he'd be dragging Joe into the stall of some shitty diner bathroom before the night was out.

\---

After Burnin' Up they played a couple more covers together and then Nick came back out alone to play the darker, bleakly self-critical ode to why it sucked to have diabetes he'd replaced _A Little Bit Longer_ with when the Jonas Brothers officially went into indefinite hiatus after Kevin's wedding. He never talked to the crowd during the song, never paused to tell his story, never asked the audience if they thought he'd let the diabetes slow him down. It was an angrier, more nakedly personal song, knotted up in more than the diabetes, at least to David's ears. It was clear enough to him in the haunted lyrics about blood and love twisting together, clear in Joe's marked absence from the stage. 

After the final round of applause, David downed the last of his drink and he and Enzo left the club to loiter in the back alley, waiting for Nick and Joe. They emerged 20 minutes later, and Joe stole the last drag of David's smoke right out of his mouth, despite, or to incite, Nick's disapproving glare. 

"I liked the new song - the one about how ugly New Jersey is," David said by way of a greeting, pulling out another cigarette and lighting it. Joe shook his head and took that one too. David rolled his eyes, and they all started walking. 

Joe fell in step with David, winking a dare for David to try and take back the stolen smoke, while Nick tried to maintain his position at Joe's side and Lorenzo walked a little ahead of them.

Nick glared sideways at Joe while he smoked, but said to David, "That's not what it's about. The song."

David smiled inwardly. Nick J was still so fucking easy. "Really? I thought that was the whole point of illusions to gray streets and abandoned buildings. Was I being too literal? Did I miss a Nick Jonas Metaphor?"

"Shut up," Nick said with little heat, taking Joe's stolen cigarette out of his fingers and flicking it into the grate of a manhole as they walked.

"Nice shot," Lorenzo nodded approvingly, as the orange ember disappeared from view.

"Thanks," Nick said, walking a little faster so he was side-by-side with Lorenzo, knocking their shoulders together a little.

David swallowed a sigh. He'd hoped for an easier night, a few drinks and easy conversation before things went they way they always inevitably did when the four of them were together. Before they went like they were going already tonight - Nick getting tense and snappish, straying to Lorenzo for support, in retaliation, as soon as David and Joe got too close. David liked to postpone that as much as possible, so he typically tended to hang back, to give Joe the space Nick needed to breathe. But Joe was right out of the gates on tonight, already throwing an arm around David as they walked, stealing drags off his third attempt at finishing his own cigarette. 

Enzo was no more a fan of that type of behavior than Nick, so he tucked his hand into Nick's back pocket, pulling him in close to whisper something in Nick's ear, effectively locking them all into another skirmish of one upmanship. Committing them to another night of the same back and forth they'd been using each other for for years.

It made David tired - but so did fighting his want for his brother everyday. Lorenzo would knock out David's teeth and then leave him on the side of the road if David tried to insert some random guy into the life they shared together - but he tolerated David's thing with Joe. Tolerated it enough that he stayed with David, at least. David just always figured that rest of Lorenzo's silence was paid for by what he and Nick took out in kind.

\---

Nick knew Joe was pissed at him - or as close as he ever got to naming what drove Joe to do what he did - when he all but propositioned David before saying so much as hello.

It wasn't that Nick didn't know they fucked - wasn't like he didn't get off thinking about it, either. It was just that Joe usually at least _started out_ trying to be subtle about it. But there was nothing subtle about Joe tonight. He was all cocky charm and casual touches, showering David openly with both.

They were eating burgers and waffles at some local greasy spoon, and Joe was grabbing food off David's plate, chatting him up, all while Nick seethed and Lorenzo tried to settle him by moving his hand progressively higher up Nick's thigh. It wasn't what it sounded like, what Joe would think it was if he noticed, and knowing Joe, probably already had. It was just comfort, just Enzo trying to keep Nick's feet on the ground so he didn't leap across the table and pull Joe away from David. 

Comfort, solidarity. That was all it was, and all it was ever going to be. 

Nick and Lorenzo had never had sex. Nick knew Joe thought they had, and he did what was necessary to let Joe keep right on thinking that, but they hadn't, and they never would. Nick had only ever slept with one person, and even though he picked the one person sure to damn them both, he clung hard to the last traces of his father's religion where he could, as warped as the logic had become in his head. They'd always said the purity rings were about living morally and being responsible, and to Nick they'd never meant waiting for marriage - just waiting until you found the person you knew you were going to love for the rest of your life. And so Nick gave his virginity to the only person he'd ever love, and even though in sleeping with Joe he'd probably sold both their souls, it wasn't something he was willing to tarnish anymore than it already was. Nick'd had no one's hands and mouth on him but his brother's, and even if Joe couldn't say the same, Nick didn't know how else to stay upright but to keep it that way.

\---

As Nick downed the last gulp of his diet coke, Joe excused himself and walked purposefully towards the bathroom. Nick sighed, letting his body finally show his exhaustion, slumping low in his seat, pushing his empty glass away from him a little too roughly, knocking it over, spilling ice across the table.

"Sorry," he said, hastily moving to gather up the melting cubes with a crumbled napkin.

"It's okay," David assured him, catching Nick's wrist and squeezing down, not hard enough to hurt, but hard enough to slow Nick's frantic wiping. He squeezes his fingers against Nick's pulse once more before letting go, saying, "It's okay."

Nick nodded, something like forgiveness passing between them, absolution for the part both of them around about to play. "You better go," Nick said, nodding in the direction of the bathroom, where they all know Joe is waiting for David.

David looked at Nick, long and hard, nodding finally. Before he got up, he turned to Lorenzo, smiling at him sadly, and leaned over to kiss his forehead. "I love you, brosky."

Lorenzo smiled, heavy with want, with resignation. "Love you, too."

With that, David got up, and Nick and Lorenzo silently watched him disappear from view.

After a long time, Lorenzo's hand found Nick's under the table, and he knotted their fingers together. "Want to go see if you can beat me at darts?" He asked finally, even managing to muster a little bit of a taunting tone.

Nick smiled back for his efforts, and pushed his chair away from the table, accepting the challenge.

\---

David found Joe about how he expected him, pacing back and forth in the dingy, sketchy bar bathroom, one hand obsessively carding through his hair, eyes wild.

"Easy," David said, approaching him, putting one hand on his neck, the other on Joe's waist.

"What the fuck is wrong with me?" Joe demanded hoarsely, eyes boring into David's.

David shook his head, bringing their foreheads together, pressing his lips to the sharp rise of Joe's cheek bone. "He'll forgive you. He always does."

Joe shuddered a little. "He didn't even do anything. I mean, I've been so fucking shitty to him tonight and he didn't even _do_ anything."

David kissed Joe's cheek again, closing his eyes. "Sure he did." Maybe not the kind of thing other people would get, maybe not the kind of thing that to anyone else would count as a good reason, but David was sure Nick did something. Did enough to set Joe off, to fill him up with the toxic combo of want and anger David found him drunk with from the start. 

"He couldn't even look at me, before the show. In the green room, you know? I wasn't even... I wasn't doing anything. I was just trying to be - to be his brother, make sure he was alright, you know, and he couldn't even _look_ at me, couldn't have me close. Because he wants me every bit as much as I want him. So tell me again why we can't have what we both obviously want?" Joe's voice was ragged, stripped raw from having to ask that question far too many times.

David sighed, pulling Joe's body closer against his, shifting their hips together, feeling Joe jerk involuntarily closer at the contact. "Because," he said, as much answer as he ever gave. Joe knew all the reasons, there was no point hurting them both by saying them aloud. 

Instead, he pulled up Joe's chin, taking Joe's mouth with his own, kissing him hard and punishing until Joe finally kissed back, started moving against him, fumbling their way into a bathroom stall. David ended up slammed against the rickety door, Joe's eyes glazed over, hands everywhere, and then he dropped to his knees on the disgusting, tiled bathroom floor, and David didn't say a word. He just closed his eyes and let his hands fist hard around Joe's short black hair, different enough that, even with his eyes closed, his body wouldn't let him pretend he was with the one he really wanted to be.

\---

When he and Joe were finished, David pulled Joe up from the ground, licking his mouth clean with his tongue. It was always kissing Joe that David loved best. His mouth certainly had other uses, but David loved kissing Joe after they were both wrung out and heavy from the aftershocks of coming. Joe's kisses were so carelessly sweet, after. Once they both got past the frantic need to pour their want into each other, kissing was almost fun, almost easy, like friendship.

David finally pulled back, straightening Joe's shirt and smoothing his collar.

"We're making a movie," is he what he said next. Not planned, exactly, but as good a time as any to drop the news. At least Joe was as close as he was going to get, now, to being in a good mood.

Joe nodded, still a little vacant, blissed-out. "That is what you do."

"A real one, though. Like, feature-length. It's gonna be epic."

Joe smiled at him, loose and only a little mocking. "I'll bet."

"I want you to be in it," David barreled on, pushing past his reservations, "like, to act in it."

Joe stared at him. They didn't talk about how much David knew Joe itched to be onscreen, didn't ever acknowledge the dreams they both knew Joe had given up to stay with Nick.

"And we want both of you for the score. You and Nick. A _New Administration_ original soundtrack, what do you say?"

Joe just blinked at him, "You can't - Nick won't--"

"Lorenzo's giving him the pitch right now." Okay, so maybe they _had_ planned it. Just a little.

In David's defense, it had been Enzo's idea. Kid was a crafty motherfucker. 

David watched the thought process flicker across Joe's face. As much as Nick didn't want Joe acting, as much as the possibility that Joe would remember how much he loved it and realize how much he missed it terrified Nick, they both knew he hated how much his selfishness cost Joe. More than that, they both knew that if there was one thing Nick couldn't pass up, it was a challenge. And writing the score for a movie, just him and Joe, was sure to be a challenge Nick couldn't stand to not test himself against. David was counting on that, at least.

He was counting on them; for lots of reasons, really. He missed Joe and Nick, wanted them to be with them on this project. He wanted their talent, because David loved the script, and he needed it to be good. If he was being honest with himself, he also knew he needed Joe there with him while they were filming, needed the buffer between the character he was playing on camera and the need he felt for his brother off it. 

David waited Joe out, watched him fight his desire to say yes and his need to be what Nick needed, until he finally said, "If Nick says yes," shaking his head, "and he probably will, if Lorenzo's working on him, well. Then you know we're in."

David grinned, and Joe held up a finger, warningly and just a little bit rueful. "You get what a total shit storm this is going to be, right?" he asked with a laugh in his voice, half resigned, half elated at the challenge.

David laughed too, "Isn't that kind of the point?"

  
**Part Two**

Lorenzo didn't fuck around. As soon as they reached the dart board, he leaned into Nick and said, "We want you to make a movie with us. We want Joe acting, we want both of you for the score."

Nick took his shot, dead center, without even blinking. Enzo knew he was thinking it over, though. Nick wasn't one to give much sign, but he couldn't hear an offer like that and _not_ think.

After a long silence, Nick answered, "Okay," and Lorenzo could hear a bit of spite in it, revenge for the control Joe was currently taking from him, but Lorenzo had long since learned to take what he could get. Besides, there was a reason they were having this conversation now, when he knew he could depend on Nick's anger to make him give into impulse.

He nodded, satisfied, and slapped Nick on the back before hustling into his spot, taking aim. His dart hit the center too, not even half and inch of space between his and Nick's. Lorenzo smiled. It felt like an auspicious beginning.

\---

Joe didn't call home anymore. He didn't talk to his parents much at all. 

He'd been drifting to the outskirts of his parents approval for years, but it hadn't really gotten to the point where he wasn't welcome under his father's roof anymore until the night Joe fired his manager and lost his dad in one fell swoop the night he and Nick announced they were starting a new band together. Kevin Sr. hadn't taken well to Nick's decision not to stay with Hollywood Records and do a profitable album, a real tour. He'd blamed Joe, because that was usually how those things went, and Nick had shut their father down so hard, yelling at him for the first time in Joe's memory, that they weren't even really welcome at home, these days. It had been two years since Joe had seen his dad, or Frankie, but his mom called him twice a year, his birthday, her birthday. A present for both of them. 

He felt like calling her that night, though, as he settled back into a chair beside Nick, felt the tension rolling off him, trying to concentrate on David and Lorenzo's movie plans instead of the hurt radiating from Nick. He was tired, and maybe a little more depressed than he'd been willing to admit, maybe for longer than he'd been willing to admit, and he just wanted to call his mom, and have her tell him things were going to be alright. Have her tell him he was a good son, a good older brother, and that she was proud of of him, that she knew he could fix things, knew he could still be trusted to take care of Nick. Of himself.

Instead, Joe drank a beer to wash the taste of David out of his mouth, and waited until Nick could finally look at him again without frowning before he finally started to breathe easy.

\---

David and Lorenzo had a trailer that they were living in for the duration, and they invited Nick and Joe to stay for the night, or however long it took them to find a place that wasn't the back of their van. Lorenzo had to give them props for how often they apparently roughed it in that maroon Chrysler, especially given that he'd always assumed the brothers Jonas were all pretty fussy. Kevin certainly didn't strike Lorenzo as someone who'd ever voluntarily slept in a van, but to hear Joe tell stories about their earliest tours, no one in the family was above that.

David gave Nick directions, if saying, "Just follow us, Nick J," counted as directions, anyway, and then they broke company with Joe and Nick to drive back to the trailer in their own van.

Lorenzo ignored David as they walked to the van, but he held his hands out to David once they reached it, and David tossed him the keys without argument. David never really argued with him on the nights he'd been with Joe. A small part of Lorenzo wondered how many script changes he could guilt out of David if he ended up fucking around with Joe as much as Enzo was guessing he was going to on this shoot.

He was betting a lot.

He found a rap station that had a decent signal and cranked up the radio, because David never let him pick the music unless he was driving, and David was going through a sad bastard country phase.

They drove to the pulsating beat for a few blocks before David said, "Enzo," low and sad like he always got. After.

Lorenzo considered turning the radio up higher and driving faster, just to see if David would let him get away with it, but after a few seconds of heady contemplation, he sighed, reaching over and turning the music down to a dull roar and casting a quick glance his brother's way.

"What?" He was only doing David so many favors.

"Are you okay about this, really? Having them around so much?"

Lorenzo laughed, a little harsh, a little bitter. " _You_ going to be okay with it?" Nick wasn't the only one who let his big brother think the worst about how the two of them spent their alone time.

David sighed. "I'm trying to do the right thing, here."

Enzo sighed too. "I know." He hesitated for a second, and the reached over, briefly dropping his hand to cover David's knee, squeezing hard and then quickly letting go.

He turned the radio all the way off before returning his hand to the steering wheel, and they drove the rest of the way in silence.

\---

Joe found them their own place after the second night shacked up with Lorenzo and David, because it was that, or be legitimately afraid Nick was going to murder David in the night. It wasn't that Nick had anything against David, aside from the obvious, but the obvious was especially problematic what with them sharing living quarters. So Joe called around and was able to rent them their own trailer in the same park without much trouble - apparently fall in Nevada wasn't exactly the height of tourist season, or retirement season, or whatever other reasons that caused people to find themselves wanting to spend a few months in a trailer. Joe hadn't lived anywhere but his and Nick's van and hotel rooms for the past two years, and he found himself happy to kick off his boots in the trailer that was to be theirs as long as they needed it. 

He smiled at the small, dingy living space, and then beamed at Nick.

"Home sweet home,"

Nick rolled his eyes, but he was smiling a little behind the put-on scorn. Joe grinned at him hard until Nick eventually gave him a real smile back.

"Make me some dinner," Nick said, toeing off his shoes and slumping down on the plaid couch that apparently functioned as their foldout bed as well, according to the information Joe had gotten from their new landlord.

"Oh, is that how you think it's gonna be?" Joe asked, planning on doing no such thing.

But then Nick turned his face up to Joe, smiling sweetly, and said, "That's how I think it's going to be." There was something so honestly trusting and hopeful in his eyes that Joe couldn't do anything but throw up his hands and say, "Fuck it, fine - but first I'll have to go buy some groceries to make dinner with." Nick just settled in more comfortably on the couch, nodding encouragingly at Joe.

"Get me some diet coke while you're at it," he added, already closing his eyes, evidently planning to nap right there.

Joe sighed, trapped between wanting to strangle Nick and wanting to kiss him, and eventually settled for grabbing his keys out of his jacket and leaving the trailer without doing either.

\---

Lorenzo had always known Nick Jonas was a perfectionist, but he'd never actually been on the receiving end of it until they sat down to give Nick and Joe the treatment for the movie and start to brainstorm ideas for the sound of the score. David tried to start out off being pretty laid-back, just preliminary stuff, but Nick immediately wanted to know everything, to be part of every decision, to be on set all the time, to watch, to absorb, to control.

Joe just smirked at them silently, like he'd known this was going to happen, like they were getting what they deserved for conning him and Nick into doing the project in the first place. 

Which, well. Fair enough. But it wasn't going to stop Lorenzo from setting Nick straight about who's movie this was.

"Creative control over the music, Nick J. Not the whole fucking movie, alright? You can be as much of a pain in the ass as you want about your Vision for the score, hell, that's why we wanted you for it in the first place - but understand something. This is our movie. Me and David. We wrote it, we're directing it, fuck, we're staring in the thing. So just ease up. Take a breath. Accept the things you can't change, or whatever the fuck. We didn't have a freaky ass religious upbringing, but I'm sure you can fill in the blanks."

Nick stared at him, eyes twitching like he was going to pop, and then his head rolled back, and he started to laugh. After a second, Joe laughed too.

"That's a good try, Enzo." Joe chuckled, wiping his tearing eyes and shaking his head. "Really. Good speech."

Lorenzo and David looked at each other, both sighing deeply. "In one ear, out the other, huh?" David asked, already resigned.

Nick just grinned at them, "Let's start with the changes I want to make to the opening scene."

\---

It was great to be acting again, even though filming with David and Lorenzo was nothing like shooting a half hour farce for the Disney channel had been. Especially because of that.

When they weren't having screaming matches with each other, or with Nick, Lorenzo and David were calm, professional, and great at what they did. Joe didn't exactly understand how they were already so good, given that they'd only really been doing it for a couple years, but whatever. Some people were just naturals. He should know, he'd spent the last 24 years being the older brother to one.

His part was relatively small - the bartender at the local dive Lorenzo and David's characters frequented - out of work semi-drifters who were back in the small town they'd grown up in, done running from their past but still running from each other. It was a good part though, he got lots of time with both of them, and the small cast of local actors they were working with. It was primarily a character piece though, Lorenzo and David's characters were too fucked up, too entangled for it to quite be a love story, but there was that too, underneath. They played Jake and Adam, best friends who'd never grown out of each other, who'd never learned to make attachments with anyone else. It was all too familiar to Joe, and he knew to them too, but it was fiction, David kept grinning bitterly and reminding Joe it was fiction - so they were all just fine with it, or at least they were pretending to be.

Joe wasn't sure how well David was actually dealing with it, given how much time he spent fucking Joe when he wasn't filming with Lorenzo, but Joe wasn't casting any stones. He could barely be in the same space with Nick anymore when they weren't working. Couldn't even stand to go back to the trailer, most nights, until he knew Nick would be passed out over his guitar, piles of sheet music surrounding him.

When they were working, though, it was amazing, better than writing together for the Jonas Brothers had ever been, better even than the two independent cds they'd put out for the _New Administration_. Behind his bravado and his compulsive need to micromanage every detail, Nick was shaky, unsure of how to write this kind of music, and he leaned on Joe more heavily than he ever had because of it. As the weeks of filming passed before them, they lost nights and whole weeks holed up together in their trailer, drinking coffee and hammering out string arrangements and agonizing over the set of full songs they were planning on top of that. The final song, to ease Jake and Adam through their final scene and to run with the credits was giving them an especially hard time, but whenever Joe made a good suggestion, made something click inside Nick's head so that he smiled at Joe just _so_ , he felt like there was nothing better he'd ever done. Nothing that had ever mattered quite like this.

It was the best and worst of times, as the saying went, and Joe didn't know what any of them thought they were doing, really. He only knew he wasn't the only one who was refusing to admit that, eventually, it was going to end.

\---

It was a Monday, about eight weeks into filming, and they were getting there, not done, but close enough that David wasn't sleeping anymore, spending all his free time pacing and obsessing over their editing equipment, and there was only ever so much of that Enzo could take on a given day. By dusk, he had to get out, get some air, and he opted for taking a walk around the trailer park that had been their home for the better part of two months. 

He found Joe reclining against the fence that skirted around the park, one arm bent above his head, cushioning his skull, and the other hand was dangling a cigarette, passing occasionally between his lips.

Enzo grunted a hello and sat down beside him. Joe passed him the smoke and they traded it back and forth silently until it was done.

Joe stretched luxuriously, folding both hands behind his head now, eyes lazily regarding the purple sky above them.

"What do you suppose 20-something's who aren't independently wealthy because they didn't have their childhoods exploited by their parents _do_?" Joe asked philosophically, still looking at the sky instead of at Enzo.

He rolled his eyes, which he would have done whether Joe was looking at him or not. "You didn't have your childhood exploited by your parents."

Joe fumbled with his breast pocket, pulling out another cigarette and lighting it as he said, darkly, "Nick did."

Lorenzo scoffed. "Nick exploited himself. He knew exactly what he was doing and everything it was going to cost him to do it, from day one, and that's clear to anyone who's spoken so much as three words to him, so I _know_ you know that. Hell, if your parents hadn't been up for taking his show on the road, kid probably would have just picked up and done it by himself."

Joe was silent for a long time. "He wouldn't have been all by himself," he said eventually.

Lorenzo sighed and shifted closer to Joe. "You going somewhere with this?"

Joe shook his head immediately, hunching forward. "Nowhere to speak of."

Lorenzo nodded, and put his arm around Joe's shoulders, leaning against him as they both stared silently up at the sky.

\---

The night before David and Lorenzo were filming their kissing scene, Joe took David on a drive to the outskirts of town and let David fuck him in the backseat of his car.

When they were done, David kissed Joe's shoulder apologetically and Joe untangled their bodies unceremoniously. 

"Think that's gonna do it?" He asked bluntly, but hopefully, too.

David sighed. "You think I'm an idiot, huh?"

Joe shrugged. "I think we're all idiots."

David smiled ruefully. "So at least I'm in good company?"

Joe furrowed his brow a little, shrugging again. "Something like that."

David twisted around in the seat, checking the clock on the front dash. "It's getting late. Is Nick going to be pissed?"

Joe laughed humorously. "When isn't he, these days?"

David sat up straighter, eyes carefully away from Joe, "Can I ask... I mean, you clearly - Enzo and I have never actually - but--"

"We've fucked," Joe said simply, saving David from hanging himself.

David went slightly white, shocked, even though he'd theoretically guessed as much. "Jesus. And Nick..."

"Broke it off, yeah," Joe nodded, voice void of emotion. "The night before he turned 18. That was the last time."

David flinched, lifting his hips off the seat to pull up his jeans. "But he still... when we--"

"Yep," Joe cut him off again, nodding curtly.

"That's balls, man," David said, so sincerely sympathetic Joe laughed, loud and clear. 

"Who you telling."

David shook his head, "I can't imagine actually - I don't even think Enzo would... I mean," he broke off, interrupting himself with a heavy sigh.

Joe just stared at him, both their faces shadowed in the dark, and said, "He would."

\---

Nick came to Lorenzo after Joe and David had been gone for about an hour.

Nick didn't say anything, and neither did Lorenzo; he just let Nick in and motioned to the coffee table that was currently housing a half eaten and rapidly concealing pizza.

Nick shook his head, but sat down beside Lorenzo on the couch.

The trailer didn't have a TV, but Lorenzo had his laptop out, and he'd been streaming an old episode of _Arrested Development_ before Nick arrived. He leaned forward, asking, "Want me to put on a new ep?"

Nick shook his head, glaring at his hands. "If I kissed you, what would you do?" 

Lorenzo blinked, mildly stunned. "I'd probably kiss you back," he answered slowly.

Nick nodded, but made no move towards him. "Have you ever kissed anyone before?"

"Yeah, sure. Lots of people." He decided he was only mildly insulted by the question, given what he and Nick knew about each other.

"Anyone who mattered?" Nick asked, sounding tired, and far too old.

Lorenzo guessed he sounded about the same when he answered, "Nah, never anyone who mattered."

Nick nodded again, and stayed exactly where he was.

\---

David dropped Joe off with a tight nod and a slap on the shoulder, and Joe climbed out of the car slowly, not especially eager to face Nick inside. 

The trailer only had one step, but Joe climbed it heavily, opening the door as quietly as he could, just on the wild off-chance Nick was already asleep. 

He wasn't, of course. Instead, he was sitting in the dark trailer, waiting for Joe. Just sitting there, arms folded, not doing anything, not even with a fucking light on.

Joe flicked on the light and they both winced as they adjusted to the brightness.

"Are you okay?" Joe asked heavily.

Nick kept right on sitting, leaning back against the couch, glaring at Joe.

Joe shook his head, shrugging off his coat and hanging it up on the hook beside Nick's. "What do you want me to say?"

Nick made an angry, strangled noise, and got up, not walking towards Joe exactly, just pacing back and forth in the space between them. 

"You don't want me to go?" Joe demanded, forcing himself into Nick's space, into his line of sight. "Huh? You don't want me to fuck around with David anymore, Nick? So _don't let me_. When I ask you if it's okay - _tell me no_."

Nick abruptly stopped pacing, staring at Joe, pale and shocked.

"Just like that?" 

Joe put his head in his hands, sighing. "What do you think I've been waiting for all this time, Nick?"

Nick shook his head, taking a step away from Joe instead of one closer. "You don't want that,"

"Yes I fucking do, Nick. Jesus, where have you been our whole fucking lives?" Joe was so flabbergasted, so frustrated he didn't even think about what he was saying, didn't even stop to be afraid of what was going to happen next, what might come out of either of their mouths.

"We can't, Joe," Nick pleaded, faint and desperate.

"Why not?" Joe asked him, crowding up against Nick, putting his hands on Nick's neck. "Why can't we have what we want? What else do we have to lose?" They hadn't seen their family, aside from an annual weekend with Kevin in Texas, for almost three years, they hadn't gone to church in longer than that. It was just them, now, had been for ages, and that's always been the part that Joe didn't get. If it was just them, what was stopping them from having what they wanted if they both wanted the same fucking thing?

Nick shuddered a little, leaning impulsively into Joe's touch, and he pushed his advantage, moving one hand around to the base of Nick's skull, sliding the other up along his jaw, cupping his face, leaning in close enough that he could feel Nick's breath on his lips.

"I don't want to take anything from you, Nick, I don't want to hurt you. I just want to--"

Suddenly Nick laughed, high and slightly unhinged. "Kiss me?"

Joe closed his eyes, head bowed as he laughed too, unable to stop it. "Yeah," he wheezed, shaking out the laughter, and saying, seriously, "Yeah. Nick. I want to kiss you."

Nick swallowed, and their eyes were close enough that Joe could watch every movement, could see Nick's gaze flick down involuntarily to Joe's lips, snapping back up again, blinking rapidly like he was trying to unsee them.

"We can't," Nick said again, breathy now, so close to giving in.

"Why not?" Joe pressed, voice soft, sliding their bodies even closer, chest to chest, heartbeat to heartbeat.

"Because if we start again, I won't be able to stop," Nick ground out, yanking himself away from Joe, breaking the spell Joe had been winding around them.

Joe let Nick reclaim his personal space, hands hanging uselessly at his sides. He didn't bother to hide the sadness in his voice when he asked, "Would that really be so bad?"

Nick looked at him for a long time, want and guilt warring on his face, until he finally said, "Yes," and turned from away from Joe, leaving the trailer without another word.

\---

Lorenzo felt like he'd been waiting his whole life to be kissed by David - or at least since he was 13 years old and realized kissing wasn't just a way for girls to transmit unwanted cooties. He'd been waiting, wanting, for so long that he almost didn't want their scene to come. Didn't want that finality - that moment when their lips would touch and he'd finally know - in excruciating detail - exactly what he'd been missing all those years.

But when the time came, when Joe shouted action from behind the camera and it was time for David to throw him against a wall and claim Lorenzo as irrevocably his - it wasn't David at all. It was Jake, and Lorenzo was Adam, and when their lips collided Lorenzo felt nothing but the character. Nothing but the weight of wanting to do the scene well, of wanting to give life and meaning to the words he and David had written together.

It was just acting, just fiction after all, and as their character's joined together in a claiming kiss, Lorenzo realized that this wasn't how he was going to learn what being kissed by David felt like after all. That was when he realized he was going to have to spend his whole life waiting for David.

\---

After they finished filming for the day, Enzo went looking for Joe. Partly because he couldn't handle talking to David, not yet, but also because Joe had been missing for most of the afternoon, and Nick was getting that lost, kicked look he got when he and Joe were fighting. The one tried to hide when Joe was actually around but showed to anyone who cared to look when Joe wasn't. 

Enzo found Joe pretty easily - camped out on his the hood of his car at the edge of the dirt road leading into the trailer part, and Lorenzo sat down beside him, saying, "Look, I need you to understand something here."

Joe twisted around to see at him, eyes attentive.

"I get that you don't understand where Nick gets off acting like he does - but you gotta understand that even if he won't say it, even if he won't admit it to either one of you - he needs you to stop. He needs for you to do what we do, and for that to be enough. He needs you to not--"

"What is it you do?" Joe cut in, incredulous.

Enzo shrugged heavily, "Be celibate and miserable."

Joe gaped at him. "But you - I thought--"

"Yeah, well, that's what we wanted you to think."

Joe shook his head like he was sure he'd heard wrong, "He and you never...?"

"Never."

"Why would he let me think that, then?" He demanded wildly.

Lorenzo shrugged, "What would you have done if you had known?" Before Joe could answer, he continued, "Bad enough, you and David fucking around, thinking we were too."

"So why tell me now?" Voice faint, still held together with disbelief.

"Because Nick's losing it - he can't see you together every fucking day, okay? It was one thing when we saw you guys, what, every couple months? But this - you've seen what it's been doing to him. So that's why I'm telling you. I'm telling you so you know. I'm telling you so you understand he's not just being a hypocritical asshole."

"Why hasn't he--"

"Because he can't, Joe. He can't be with you - but he can't be with anyone else, either."

Joe put his head in his hands, not able to look at Enzo when he asked, "And you? Does David know?"

"No, and I'd appreciated it if it stayed that way, you know what I'm saying? There's nothing him knowing would change for us. Not much it's going to change for you, either. But at least this way you'll fucking cut Nick a little slack." Lorenzo's tone was hard, uncompromising.

Joe drew in a ragged breath, the last few months and years rushing back to him in a flood. Enough time passed that Lorenzo was starting to think Joe wasn't going to say anything at all before he finally demanding, hollowed out and broken, "Jesus, what the fuck have we - I mean, just what the fuck have we been doing?" His boring into Lorenzo's, pleading for an answer.

Lorenzo shrugged again, jumped off the hood and offering Joe a hand, answering automatically, seriously, "The best we can."

Joe looked up at him for a long moment, and then he reached for Lorenzo's hand. Lorenzo pulled Joe onto his feet, and then let go.

They walked back to their brothers in silence, and didn't say good-bye when they parted ways.


End file.
